“The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.”- Robert Jordan
Resilience is the foundation of the human spirit. The world can be dark, and it is in those moments that our resilience must shine through. Resilience, like a diamond, is created over time- yet it can be taught through our everyday actions.
Children are like sponges- they absorb everything around them. Having resilience is vital for them to be successful once they are older. Problems are unpredictable (with the pandemic being a great example), and in order to overcome challenges, children must be able to bend with the wind rather than break against it. It is their very ability to adapt that will take them further in life and bring them the utmost happiness, whereas those who can not will most likely struggle.
How to teach resilience to your children:
Teaching resilience lies in two different means; language and reaction. It can be found in many places and taught in many ways. Some key ways are as follows:
1) Hone in and wield the power of language:
The way we speak to our children can make or break the way they look at life. One of the key ways to teach resilience is through language- how we phrase things changes the meaning from glass half empty to being half full. A great example is as follows;
Your child competes in a sports tournament with the goal of obtaining a gold medal and places second by one point. Instead of saying “It sucks that you got second, you were so close”, it is more effective to say, “Great job placing second. You’re almost there to a gold medal, victory is extremely close.”
In the example above, not only is the second method of communication allowing for the child to not be discouraged or put down, but it is also fueling their will to do even better the next time they compete. That is resilience at its very core- the ability to take a setback/loss and still be able to try again. Language is extremely powerful, and if used incorrectly, can hinder your children’s resilience and abundance mindset.
2) Lead by example- control your reactions to negative news:
As stated earlier, children are sponges. Oftentimes, as children are learning the social and situational world, their parent’s reactions dictate exactly how they feel about unique circumstances. An example of the best way to control reactions is as follows:
You told your family you wanted a promotion and wound up losing it to someone who you feel deserves it less. Instead of saying, “This is horrible, this company never appreciates me and I am quitting”, say instead, “I really did want the promotion, but the company feels like this other person fits the spot better. How can I improve?” or, “Maybe this is a sign for me to pursue the new career avenue I wanted to explore. Everything happens for the better.”
The latter methods of reaction showcase a positive and resilient mindset to being let down. It shows your child that just because they are hit with negative news, does not mean they should let it ruin their growth mindset or mood.
How SimplySmart Childcare and Montessori uses these methods:
At SimplySmart, one of the core values in our childcare centers is determination, which ties into resilience. Our early childhood educators are trained to use only the best possible language around children, thus allowing them to build the resilience of these little ones over time. Children can learn the utmost importance of resilience through adults’ language and actions, thus making these two things extremely important when raising a child. We must remember to teach children to bend with the wind, as strong gusts are almost always on life’s weather forecast.
You may also want to book a tour and check out our daycare locations in Oakville, Brampton and several other locations in Greater Toronto Area.